Welcome to The Business of Luxury, where we reveal how the world’s most irresistible brands hijack your neurochemistry while everyone else is still posting for engagement.

Today we’re dissecting the delicious tension between Ralph Lauren’s $4 million Hamptons show and Aimé Leon Dore’s $6 cappuccinos. One makes you chase. One lets you in. And the brands that become cult brands? They do both.

Because here’s what most brands miss: you need people to chase you AND feel seen by you. Distance creates desire. Proximity creates devotion. The magic is in the dance between the two.

Let’s dive in…

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There are two ways to make someone want you.

You can be the supermodel. Unattainable. Aspirational. The one who walks past without a glance, leaving everyone wondering what it would take to be noticed. And that distance creates desire. The further away you are, the harder they chase.

Or you can be the girl next door. Relatable. Accessible. The one who already knows your coffee order and laughs at your jokes. Proximity creates comfort. The closer you are, the more they trust.

Here’s the problem: The supermodel never gets picked. Too cold. Too distant. Admired, but never chosen.

And the girl next door? Overlooked. Too familiar. Too safe. No tension, no heat.

Luxury exists in the space between.

Back in September 2024, Ralph Lauren flew 200 guests via helicopter to Bridgehampton, recreated his Manhattan restaurant inside equestrian stables, and served the former First Lady locally-caught fish while models walked past his personal collection of 1950s Jaguars. Pure aspiration. A world you’ll never quite reach.

That same year, Aimé Leon Dore opened Café Leon Dore in Nolita, NYC—where a $6 Freddo Cappuccino gets you a nod from the barista, a seat among walnut paneling and Persian rugs, and access to a brand universe where clothing costs $200. Pure belonging. A world where you’re already in.

Two brands. Two worlds. Two completely different seductions.

And neither one works alone.

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NOW BACK TO THE DISPATCH

The Psychology & Chemistry of Seduction

Luxury brands that actually convert (that build obsession, not just desire) understand something most don’t: You need dopamine and oxytocin.

Here’s a quick science lesson:

• Dopamine (aspiration): The pursuit. The chase. The promise of “I could have this.” The elevated version of yourself you project onto the brand. The fantasy you’ll never quite inhabit, and that’s precisely what makes it delicious. It’s on your Pinterest board but you’re never reaching for your credit card to obtain it.
• Oxytocin (belonging): A warm hug. A fist-bump of recognition. The feeling of “I’m already this.” The brand reflects your taste back to you with such resonance that you feel seen. Not aspirational. Actual. Present tense.

Ralph Lauren’s Hamptons show was pure dopamine engineering. Months of construction to build The Polo Bar inside Khalily Stables (drool). Helicopters. A finale gown with 200,000 hand-sewn pearls. Naomi Campbell and Christy Turlington closing the show.

Translation: This is a world you’ll never quite reach.
And that’s not a bug. That’s a feature.

Café Leon Dore, by contrast, is oxytocin and belonging on tap. Opened in February 2019, it was integrating it directly into the Nolita flagship. La Marzocco machines pulling Greek Freddo Espressos. Regulars get nods. Baristas remember orders. The café has 24 million TikTok views under #CafeLeonDore and is described as a “pilgrimage site” and a “rite of passage” for the fashion-conscious visiting New York. Sounds more like a religious experience than a clothes shop and cafe!

The genius? Coffee costs 3% of what ALD clothing costs. You don’t need purchasing power to belong but you can still be part of it for $6.

“When you’re buying into ALD, you’re buying into a world—you’re buying into a perspective more than a garment.” – Teddy Santis

But here’s what most people miss: Neither strategy works in isolation.

• Too much dopamine? The chase becomes exhausting. You give up. Ralph Lauren’s helicopters are admired from afar, but they don’t create evangelists. They create spectators and spectacle. Imagine the endless scroll on the socials, all hits, no bangers.
• Too much oxytocin? The comfort becomes stagnation. No evolution. No aspiration. You’re the girl next door… beloved, but never enough to change someone’s life. Familiarity breeds contempt as they say.

Successful brands actually seduce twice. They capture both your attention and your devotion.

They build the tension. They create the bridge. They make you chase and let you in.

The Bridge Formula: Resonance + Irreverence

Resonance creates intimacy = “I see where you are right now.”

When a brand articulates your current struggle with such precision you think they’ve been reading your journal. This is where experts show their magic, not through credentials or being a helpful expert, but through seeing you. Understanding exactly what’s tangled up inside your head.

Irreverence creates aspiration = “Here’s what happens when you take the leap.”

Not the process. The energy. The version of yourself that’s just a little braver, a little more unbothered, a few less Fs are given, operating at a frequency that makes everyone else look like they’re trying too hard. This is aspiration as invitation… it’s possible for you, if you were just willing to become her.

When you fuse these two? You get a brand that feels like your smartest, most stylish friend. The one who validates exactly who you are right now while making you want to evolve just by proximity.